Monday, June 12, 2017

Momisms

   Being a mom has laughable moments that other moms understand better than those who aren't a parent. Someone may think they understand, but it isn't always the case. I have written a list of words or phrases that moms experience daily. I  hope you get a laugh out of them and can relate.
  • Momercise-  the act of trying to exercise,  but you keep hip checking your child in the head as they run by.
  • Dad Blindness- the act of walking past dad to ask mom who is busy or relaxing to do something for them- usually opening up a fruit snack or some other treat they shouldn't have.
  • No- A word that means no to adults, but apparently means "yes" to the kids.
  • Chores- An unfamiliar word to children. You have to explain to them what they need to do, show them, and then wait all day for them to finish. It usually results in some form of discipline that the child is dumbfounded by and doesn't know why it occurred.
  • Temporary Paralysis or Leg Injury- this is the result of asking your child to do something and they suddenly develop this type of injury.
  • Child Indecisiveness- This happens when you ask your child of they want something, they say no, and then a few minutes later ask for said thing. Usually this is most commonly seen when asking if they want a drink or if they need to use the bathroom. Ex: <child's name> I have to shower, do you need to use the bathroom? Child says no and then 5 minutes later, child knocks on door with extreme need to pee.
  • Child Amnesia- the uncanny ability for your child to forget a rule that has always been in place. Ex: We don't use mommy's makeup to color on the walls. Child- oh, I forgot.
  • Cooking- the act of preparing food that your children will probably not eat anyways.
  • Rest- hahahaha
  • Sleep-  something you get little of. I hear you get it back when your kids become teenagers.
  • Sleeping In- something that dads can manage to do, but moms can't. We're too aware of the shenanigans our children are getting in to.
  • Shower- something you would like to do everyday, but realistically do a couple times a week.
  • Bathroom Break- it's not really a break, but more like a communal gathering while you pee and poop.
  • What's That?- What's that as a mom is no longer trying to figure out if that animal 30 ft away is a cat or a skunk. Now it is trying to figure out what the sticky goo on the couch is or trying to explain that the white smear on your black shirt is actually your child's snot and then explain to them that you didn't change your shirt because you didn't know it was there until it was pointed out. 
  • Snack- food you would like to eat by yourself,  but kids will always find you and ask for a bite. To eat a snack by yourself, eat carrots or find a hiding spot. Sometimes a spot can be a closet or locked bathroom.
  • Hostage Situation: Goes both ways- you made this family and are stuck with them because you choose to be with them because you love each other unconditionally. Should be renamed "Family"

    I hope that these were able to make you laugh! Which Momisms do you have in your household?

6 comments:

  1. Those were cute! Can't wait to have my own isms once ian is old enough or Jocelyn.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is so true. Im cracking up

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought of a couple more!

      Using the bathroom: at home it's a family reunion, everyone wants to be there. In public, the kids can't wait to escape the stall while your pants are down.

      Come here- please run away from me.

      There was another one I just told Craig and can't remember for the life of me. He doesn't remember either...

      Delete
    2. I just remembered!

      Bath- something your child fights you to get out of, but once in, you can't get them out.

      Delete
    3. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete

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