Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Fighting the Winter Blues

     I don't know if it has just hit me earlier this year or if it's because my circumstances have been unusual, but I've been really bluesy, already, this year.

     I love the fall! I usually love the colors, the crisp air, the decorations, and costumes. I love taking my kids trick-or-treating. I usually become blue after Thanksgiving. But I've been bad at decorating the house. We just did our pumpkins, usually it's done sooner. I haven't been super excited like I normally am. Maybe it's because I've only watched Hocus Pocus once this year? *gasp!* yes, just once.

     For those of you who have never heard of the winter blues, it happens to people in the winter. We're not quite depressed, but more like melancholy. The days are shorter, exercise has dwindled, and the supply of vitamin D that you get from the sun has lost its source. I didn't realize that this was something that I experienced every year until I noticed a pattern. I began to see my doctor during the winter months because I lost motivation to do anything. I was tired all of the time and my temper was short. I had gone in believing that maybe I was having a thyroid problem, but it happened every single winter since my kids were born and nothing was every diagnosed. It might have happened sooner than that, but I was a hyperactive teenager, so maybe I didn't notice it as much.


    What I usually do when I begin to feel bluesy is take some vitamin D. That usually helps, but so does ice cream. And well, when you eat ice cream, weight creeps on and then I'm 500 lbs (a bit of an over exaggeration) and then I feel even worse than I did before.

     I need a hobby. I'm at home with the baby (ok, so he's 3, but he'll always be my baby- shadadoop awwwah, shadadoop da doop da dawww *insert Mariah Carey high note*) all day long. We do things together, but most of it is what he wants to do. "But you're the mom. Make him do what you want to do." *Mothers UNITE!* I do, sometimes, or sometimes I come to this computer and I type a blog that may or may not get read. However, when you get bluesy and you have anxiety, sometimes you just can't do something. Anxiety is weird. You want to do something, but your brains says, "No. Just stay right where you are. Worry about getting your house clean, but stay here and just look at it. Don't do a thing. Feel overwhelmed and panic when someone is about to come over. Everything will not be ok, but it's ok to just sit and worry."

     Nothing gets done!!! Then, at some moment, you are able to push through that fog and you say "Enough!" and you bring out the broom and sweep everything to the middle of the floor and you sweep things long forgotten out from under the couch then add it to that pile. You look at that pile and feel overwhelmed again. You sit down. You know that it has to get cleaned. After you put on an episode of Grey's Anatomy (because it will calm you down) you slowly pick up that pile. On occasion, you have turrets and yell at the dogs because when you went and picked the kids up from school, they got into the garbage can and pulled out paper plates and other trash items and chewed on them under the dining room table. You notice the pile when you're on the floor cleaning up the other pile so you sweep it into the pile that just began to look like something was being done, only to have it grow again. You feel defeated, but hey, you can do this! Just as you're almost done, the kids come home and dump their things everywhere. The baby is so excited, he grabs the nearest toy bin and dumps it. You let out an inhuman strangled cry. You apologize to the kids because they thought you were dying and you say, "It's ok. Mommy is just a little exasperated. Can you help?" The sensitive 5 year old will rub your back saying, "It's ok, Mama". She's trying to comfort you, so you try not to glare at her through the slits of your eyes because the mess you asked them to help with is still where it was left.
Not my house, but it may be if I don't get my butt into gear. (compliments of Hoarders)


     I'm not depressed, though. I'm bluesy. They house doesn't always look the way it does. I'm not always anxiety ridden and useless. It's cold outside. It's not like the normal hoody weather for this time of year. We have had to pull out our coats and we would have our mittens if we could find them. (Add buy gloves to the list of things we need.) The kids are restless, the dogs feel duped because I don't want to take them for a walk when it's 40* and dark outside. The dogs get into things. The kids play inside all day instead of outside. Things pile up and we're all just stir-crazy. I think that's enough to make any mommy a little crazy, if not just bluesy.

     Do you get the winter blues? Have you gotten them already?
   

   


Thursday, October 26, 2017

Rejoining the Work Force

     So... I've been a stay at home mom for a little over three years. My baby will get screened for preschool (finally!) tomorrow. I've been told that once he's screened, it will take no time at all for him to be placed into a preschool, probably the same one that my daughter attended.
 
     While I have mixed emotions about him going, I'm going to get about three hours of being kid free each day. During that three hours, I thought it would be nice to have a work from home job... except those are hard to find. I've searched online and it's difficult to tell which ones are real and which ones are fake... except maybe if they are asking me to pay some money upfront, then I question if the company is real.

     "Hey, Brittany! I know a way that you can stay home and work. All you need to do is join .... and sell things!"--- I've thought about selling ItWorks, 31, Jamberry, and all of those other things, but the truth is, I have no connections and I don't want to spam everyone's Facebook pages asking for them to buy something that they don't really need. I've been on the receiving end of those pitches and I can't buy from everyone.

     I thought that I would try blogging for some extra income, but the only way that I know to make money on here is to put up ads and I only get paid per click. It starts to look suspicious if the same people click ads every time.  I enjoy blogging, so I'll probably keep up with this, but it's not really a  way to make money.

     I've done the whole scan my groceries bit and taking surveys, but I put a lot of effort in for minimum payout. I want the real deal. I want to be able to help bring extra income from home, in my pajama pants, for three hours a day. Is that too much to ask?

     So, if any of you know of a legitimate way to do that, let me know, will ya?

     For now, I will keep searching and continue writing. Maybe I'll finish my book sometime.

    Also, anyone want to illustrate my children's stories? I can maybe make you cookies?

Help a girl out!


Sunday, October 22, 2017

Body Double? Really?


     I may be behind in my news, but today, I've seen several posts on Facebook about Melania Trump having a body double. Some of them joke that Melania left President Donald Trump or that she doesn't want to be seen around him so they have the double to keep his image up. Most of the posts are mocking and this is what I have to say about it.

     Really? Having a body double is smart, regardless if she has one or not. Those around may joke about it, but think of all the hate mail and threats that probably get sent to the White House everyday against the President, first wife, or children. If a threat has been made, wouldn't it be smart to have a body double in order to save the First Lady? Someone may say that it would be cowardly to have someone stand in for you when danger is eminent, but I don't think so. 

     If something were to happen to President's Trump's wife, he could be enraged, devastated, furious... all emotions that wouldn't give the president a clear head. How could someone lead a country while being emotionally unstable? Wouldn't it be better to be cautious?

     Body guards know what the are doing when they sign up for their job. They know that their lives could be placed in danger and many of them do it for honor. Not everyone recognizes what honor is, these days, but that's something that others in different countries or cultures literally live and die by. It isn't cowardly to assign someone to protect an important figure in our country. Besides, the body guard probably literally, signed up for it.

     Did you know that in Star Wars, Padme had a body double. She had her double to get information. She was used as a political decoy. That was smart.

     Celebrities have body doubles in movies. Why? Because there are scenes which can harm them. If a movie doesn't have some sort of suspense or danger for these action movies that come out, the movie can get kind of boring. Also, with the way that movies are made now, we as a society, like for what we watch to look realistic. The body double helps keep that reality while also keeping the celebrities safe. It's smart.



      Before we assume and cry out conspiracy, maybe we should just consider that some people have bad days. I can't imagine that being the First Lady is easy. Perhaps, Melania is just stressing out or maybe she missed her last beauty appointment. Or maybe, just maybe, she does have a body double. It really isn't our business...  unless we never see the First Lady again, and all we see is this body double, maybe then, we can raise some questions about where Melania is. But in the meantime, a body double is smart. 




Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Spiritual Gifts

     This is a topic that I would need to read more into. I'm not a scholar, but twice in a short amount of time, I have been told about spiritual gifts. The first was a discussion with my husband about the gift of speaking in tongues. He believes in it more than I do, but I don't discredit it either. The second gift was brought up to me after I posted about an insane dream that I had on Facebook. Someone asked me if I thought I might have the gift of prophecy. I joked that sometimes I joke about it, but the question had me thinking about spiritual gifts.

     1 Corinthians 12 is a book in the Bible that talks about spiritual gifts. 

Concerning Spiritual Gifts

12 Now about the gifts of the Spirit, brothers and sisters, I do not want you to be uninformed. You know that when you were pagans, somehow or other you were influenced and led astray to mute idols. Therefore I want you to know that no one who is speaking by the Spirit of God says, “Jesus be cursed,” and no one can say, “Jesus is Lord,” except by the Holy Spirit.
There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distribuGtes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work.
     I've read this passage and studied it several times in high school for Bible Quizzing. This time, it speaks to me differently. No matter what work I do, what good that I do, I am only able to do this because God has allowed me to do it. God has allowed me to have the children that I have. If God didn't think that I could handle being a parent, he wouldn't have given me the awesome kids that I have. I'm not saying that all parents are fit to be parents- because yeah, there are some really bad parents out there, but I don't have to have this nice life with good kids if God didn't want me to have it.

Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. To one there is given through the Spirit a message of wisdom, to another a message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, 10 to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues,[a] and to still another the interpretation of tongues.[b] 11 All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines.

Unity and Diversity in the Body

12 Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. 13 For we were all baptized by[c] one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. 14 Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.

     Did you see who was mentioned above? Jews or Gentile (None Jew), slave or free: Think about the rich and the poor, the privileged and oppressed. This verse is including all of us. We are all one, not separate. It makes me laugh and sad when I see different denominations claim Christ when they also believe in segregation on prejudices. To the non-believer, the Bible doesn't call us to be separate or better than others. We are all the same.

15 Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 16 And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? 18 But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 19 If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20 As it is, there are many parts, but one body.
21 The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” 22 On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23 and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, 24 while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, 25 so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. 26 If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

     This could be applied to jobs. I went to school to learn about Business Administration.  Just because I don't want to work at Mc. Donald's, it doesn't mean that I don't respect the people who do. I don't know how to make the food they make. Without them, I'm going to have to cook on the days that I don't want to.

     I don't know a thing about being an electrician. I can look up and see how to put in a light fixture or a new outlet, but that's not my expertise. If I did it on my own, I could set the house on fire from loose wires.

     I know how to use a plunger, but I don't know how to fix a pipe. Plumbers get at lot of crap (pun totally intended) for doing what they do. It's a hard and sometimes disgusting job, but what they do is important and if I need someone to wade through poop water because my toilet has backed up because a child decided to flush tons of Play-do or something else down the toilet. I'm going to need them to come help because I'm just going to make matters worse.
27 Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. 28 And God has placed in the church first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healing, of helping, of guidance, and of different kinds of tongues. 29 Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? 30 Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues[d]? Do all interpret? 31 Now eagerly desire the greater gifts.

 https://mintools.com/gifts-list.htm  put together a list of the different spiritual gifts that are listed throughout the Bible. If you click on the link and then each gift that's highlighted, you will be able to read a more detailed explanation of each gift. There list included:

Romans 12: Exhortation, giving, leadership, mercy, prophecy, service, and teaching.

 
1 Corinthians 12: Administration, apostle, discernment, faith, healings, helps, knowledge, miracles, prophecy, teaching, tongues, tongues interpretation, and wisdom. 

 Ephesians 4: Apostle, evangelism, pastor, prophecy, and teaching.

Misc. Passages: Celibacy, hospitality, martyrdom, missionary, voluntary poverty. 

     I already told you that I'm not a scholar, so I won't explain these to you, but there is a lot to think about. I previously thought that my gift was hospitality and something else that has to do with helping out teenagers. Now, I'm not so sure, although I've been told that a person can have many spiritual gifts.

I did look up the spiritual gift of Prophecy and what it has to do with today.  This is what they say at Got Questions.org

Answer: The spiritual gift of prophecy is listed among the gifts of the Spirit in 1 Corinthians 12:10 and Romans 12:6. The Greek word translated “prophesying” or “prophecy” in both passages properly means to “speak forth” or declare the divine will, to interpret the purposes of God, or to make known in any way the truth of God which is designed to influence people. Many people misunderstand the gift of prophecy to be the ability to predict the future. While knowing something about the future may sometimes have been an aspect of the gift of prophecy, it was primarily a gift of proclamation (“forth-telling”), not prediction (“fore-telling”).

     I do have crazy dreams and I've said many times that if I wrote them all down, I would have amazing storyline plots. What if those plots were given to me as a way to write stories about Christ? I'm already in the process of writing a book and have ideas for others. Is it a coincidence that I'm told this, now? Or what about how I've been writing this blog and have used it on occasion to share what God has said? In those ways, I'm already speaking forth. It may not be direct, but hey, Jesus told parables too! Maybe, in some way, these stories or posts will speak to someone and inspire them. I may not be predicting the future, but I certainly have a message to share!

     Have you found your spiritual gifts? In what ways have you used them?

If you haven't found out what your gift is and you want to, I found this test for adults and this one for teens at spiritualgiftstest.com .
      

Monday, October 16, 2017

My Son Doesn't Want Me Anymore

    Over 7 years ago, my first baby boy was born. He was two weeks early, which was totally ok with me. If he had been born on his due date, he would have had to share his birthday with a major holiday and well, that would have sucked.

    My water had broken at 9:00ish PM on a Tuesday night and he was born 16 hours later. His birth was so easy. I hard hardly felt any labor because I had my epidural early. Since I had to labor through the night, the nurses called the anesthesiologist in when he got into the hospital at about 3:00 AM. They wanted to be sure that I didn't have to wait for him later in case he was in surgery and couldn't come right away. I was able to sleep when I could, but because of the epidural, I had to have my blood pressure taken regularly. Between the nerves and the cuff squeezing my arm every few minutes, sleep was hard to come by, but it was ok, because I was going to have a baby a baby soon.

     

     When that baby was born, any doubts or fears went away. This precious bundle was created with love and he was my mini-me. My husband's and my life were going to be different from then on. I nursed this baby full time for a month and part time for a whole year. There were many sleepless nights and the laundry was constantly piling up due to diaper surprises (poop straight up the back) and spit up on all of our clothes. Despite it all, he was still a wonder and an amazement to us. I loved him so much and he was such a good baby that I had another baby so he would have someone to play with. 

     He and his sister were perfect. They were great company and wonderful to talk with. Each day they would do something to amaze me. Even when they would be naughty, they were able to do something to make everything better. Parenting isn't easy, but they made it so worth it... So we had another baby.


     There were three children now. Two boys and one girl. All of them are best friends and play together all the time. Before the youngest got old enough to be adventurous and move around, my oldest was still my buddy. Every once in a while, he still wants to play with me or snuggle, but these days, he's leading the parade and his brother and sister follow him.


     This year, my oldest is in second grade. There has been a BIG change in his attitude towards me. He doesn't want to hold my hand or snuggle. I'm not the first person that he goes to tell things to. He likes video games and more boyish things. Daddy is the person that he wants to talk to. Daddy is the person that he wants to hang out with. Daddy is the person that he wants to listen to. Now, I understand how my husband must have felt over the years when the kids all went straight to me. 

     My heart is a little sad and even frustrated at times. (Mostly when he doesn't believe that I too, know what I'm talking about. Daddy is all-knowing to him.) However, this is the time that I get to bond more with my daughter. She used to be daddy's little girl, (and she'll always be) but now she wants to do girly things. She doesn't want to play video games or train dinosaurs. She wants to watch My Little Pony and have tea parties. These are things that I can do. 



     My son might still need me from time to time and will want me again in the future. I'm not discouraged. I'm not mad or upset. I understand. It was just his time to break from me because he's not my little baby anymore. He's growing up and now he needs his daddy and wants to be one of the guys. It was part of my job to nurture him and shape him to be a kind boy. It's his daddy's turn to shape him into a good man.


Thursday, October 12, 2017

A Case For an Overthinker

     I'm one of those annoying people who asks a lot of questions. I'm an intuitive person and I overthink things to death. It might have to do with some of my anxiety, but overall, I think I have a pretty good handle on things.... I guess.

     This is what my day looks like. I walked the kids to school, this morning. The school just put up a fence all around the school. There are only two ways to get into the school, now. If I were on the committee who decided to put that fence up, some questions would be raised.
Not the actual school
  1. What happens if there is an emergency where the kids need to be evacuated? The kids and teachers can't escape through the field. Instead, everyone has to go out the same fence opening. If there is an actual fire, there really could be a potential explosion if the fire happened near the gas line. The kids can evacuate into the field, but what if they need more room than that? They'll either all get jammed into the two openings or they'll have to scale the fence to get out the fastest way possible.
  2. So much for having the kids who walk get to school in time. In order to cut into the field, they'd have to climb the fence. The only way to get to the school now is for the kids to take the sidewalk and go ALL the way around. It's also more unsafe for them to go along that way because there are busy roads on all sides of the school. The door that my kids go through is also the door where all the parents drop their kids off for school. Many of those parents are in a hurry and aren't paying attention to the kids outside of their vehicle. It takes one kid to slip off the curb and get hit to have a lawsuit against you. If there was a way for them to cut through the field, all of this thought was for not.
  3. Why didn't they make a couple of openings at the other ends of the fence? I understand wanting to keep strangers off of the property. Make gates that can close and have an employee chain it up once a reasonable amount of time has passed since the tardy bell.
  4. Those geese inside of the field... My m-i-l works next to a school who has a coyote decoy out on the lawn. It deters the geese so there are none in the field making a poopy mess.
It doesn't have to be THIS menacing.


     This thinking is just from today. If you hired and overthinker, think of how many problems could be solved before they even happen?!?!?!

     There are times when my ability gets annoying. I'm extremely perceptive. I pick up on faces and if I'm brave enough, will question you about what it means. You may not even know that you did it, but if you don't answer me, I WILL create a whole dialogue from your perspective and mine. Watch out!

Example:

Me: What is that look supposed to mean?
Him: What look?
Me: You made a face.
Me: (Imitates him) I didn't make a face, Britt.
Me: Yes you did!
Me: (Imitates him) No, I didn't. You're...
Me: Paranoid? You did make a look and I don't think you agree with how I spoke with the kids.
Me: (Imitates him) It's not nice to tell the kids that a little man named the Tooth Napper is going to come steal the kids teeth if they don't brush them because he collects dirty teeth.
Him: You said it, not me.

     Just another reason to hire or pair up with an overthinker. Put someone in an interrogation room and we'll tell you if they are innocent or not. We're just that good at questioning and reading people.

     Overthinking does have its disadvantages; going to bed at an early time is one. there is nothing like lying in bed, exhausted, but then your brain wakes up. My husband hates this because then I ask him questions until 1:00 AM and I have to ask questions every which way to truly understand what is being said. I also like to over explain things. I don't know if that's my overthinking or my wanting you to know EXACTLY what I'm thinking or how I'm feeling.

     Overthinking, I think, also causes me to have trippy dreams or weird nightmares. If I kept a diary, I'd have many plots for book or movie ideas.

     However, even though overthinking can cause problems, including thinking too much about how a person perceives me or what I could have said or done differently after a situation, I still like my overthinking self. I think that I feel smarter and am a good problem solver. Am I? Aren't I? I guess I'll just have to think about that later.

     What type of quirks do you have? Are you an overthinker? 


Sunday, October 8, 2017

How Did You Meet Your Friends?

     I don't remember how I met my youngest friends in early grade school. I remember that Cody and I liked to play monkey. He was the monkey and I was his owner/trainer. He was my friend all the way up until I moved to a different town in the beginning of 4th grade. Our last day was sad and I had hoped that we would see each other often, but we never did.
   
     When we moved, it took me a little while to make friends. I was heart broken and missed my friend and first crush. (Don't tell him!) But, the move was one of the best things that could have happened to me. I had to ride a bus to and from school and so did Kristen. We met through yarn. Yarn and Beanie Babies was hugely popular in the 90's and Kristen had both. I would watch her make bracelets on the bus and asked her one day if I could try. She showed me how to make some bracelets and we became fast friends. We didn't have class together, but we did share a lunch and 4-square was the best sport, ever!

Sammy (another excellent meet!), Me, Krissy!!!, Laura!!!!, and Brittany!

     We moved again when I started 5th grade. Kristen and I stayed friends and called each other everyday on our parent's landline. Weird huh? I made a few friends in fifth grade, but none of them were really best friends. I was glad when I went to Jr. High in 6th grade. I was reunited with Kristen and got to meet more friends.

     I can't remember if I became friends with Laura in the 6th grade or if we became friends in the 7th. I played the cello and she the viola? It could have been the violin. Any who, we both played an instrument, but we really met on the bus. Our relationship was weird. We beat each other up on the bus, but were also friends. Weird, right?


From the Top: Me, Laura, Krissy, and Kaitlyn

     One of the weirdest ways that I've made friends, however, was the time I went to church camp after watching Harry Potter. I was in love with Sean Biggerstaff who played Oliver Wood. My friend Kristen and Laura were embarrassed of me as I wandered around wearing the shirt that I made with all of his faces and his name plastered onto it. I wish I still had that shirt, but the memory of it will still remain because there was another person at that camp who loved Sean Biggerstaff too. Danielle probably loved him even more than I did and when she saw that shirt, we became fast friends. We walked around the camp ground arm in arm, stalking the band member of the musical group who came to lead worship for the week. He was Scottish and we just needed him to say a few Scottish phrases to appease our fetishes for Scottish men like Sean.

Kristen and Scottish Guy
Andrew and Danielly!



       After her, the weirdest friend meeting was probably with my friend Robert. We were all new students at college and were invited to a mandatory President of the school luncheon at his house. My friend Robert and his roommate were sitting alone and I had a group of friends that I already knew from camp and quizzing. (Being a Nazarene and going to a Nazarene school had it's benefits. You knew a ton of people.) Since I was a peppy person, I invited them over to eat with us. To break the ice, I initiated some games to play. One of them was one I learned in high school. It was called jousting. You linked hands with the person you're playing against and stick out your pointer finger. The gist of the game is to poke the other person before they can poke you. Everything was going great and we were all having a good time until I went to poke Robert and ended up slapping him on the butt (on accident) with my other hand as I went in for the kill. We all had a great laugh and we've been friends ever since.
From the Front: Robert!!! Craig (husband) and some girl that I don't remember. (sorry!)

Edit: My sister wanted me to reshare the moment I met my husband. It was the first couple days of college. My roommate and I had been hanging out a lot and I needed a break. Since I knew a lot of freshman from church get-togethers, I wandered around campus and found a seat on a bench outside of the quad after an unsuccessful search. A few minutes later, Craig and his future roommate, Brandon found me. They thought that I looked lonely so we started to talk. I started a game of would you rather and asked ridiculous questions like: Would you rather get hit by a bus full of nuns or a car full of clowns. Would you rather be set on fire or be frozen. Morbid, weird stuff to ask people you don't know. The last question I asked was, would you rather be told that you have a booger in your nose by a stranger or by a friend. The thought was deep and one of the guys informed the other that a booger was, indeed, hanging from their nose. My husband knew, right from the start, that I was a weird, morbid, dark-humored type of person and still married me.

      The way that we meet strangers and become friends can be weird and awesome. What might seem strange can give you a good story to tell. Don't discredit someone on first impressions because they might surprise you.

     What weird or interesting ways have you met your friends?

Thursday, October 5, 2017

Equal Rights For Pockets

      I'm a girly tomboy. I like to do sporty things (sometimes) and also like to dress nicely. I don't like to carry around a purse and most days, I want to wear jeans. However, in order to find a nice pair of jeans, I have to sacrifice something. This is also the same for most women's jeans- There are no pockets, or if there are, they are only in the back or they are extremely tiny in the front.

     Have you ever carried a purse around all day? It hurts your neck, your shoulders, and your back. If you don't normally carry a purse around, you have to be careful to remember that you have it or else you will forget it. I've done that a few times and the panic is out of this world. I've been lucky enough to find my lost purse, unscathed, every single time, but you never know who will find it and be dishonest.

     If I'm not carrying around lip gloss or chap stick, I'm definitely carrying my keys and phone around. If you have tiny pockets, you have either crammed your keys into your tiny front pocket and hope that they don't fall out, or put them in your back pocket. Have you ever sat on keys? Ouch! Have you ever sat down with keys in your tiny front pockets? It's like going under the knife to get your skin or fat removed, but without something to numb you first. Your keys poke into your skin and it's awful.

     Women's jeans are designed to flatter our butts. How flattering can they look when we have to shove a phone into the back pocket? True story- I tried to put my phone in my back pocket the other day. Unfortunately, my pants have been so stretched out back there that 1. It looks like I have a flabby butt and 2. I ended up putting my phone down the opening of my pants instead of my back pocket. It was a good thing that I was in my kitchen when I did this because if I was out in public, everyone would be able to see the large rectangular outline of my phone as it made its way towards the opening of my right pant leg. I couldn't tell the difference between my stretched out pocket and my waist band.

     I have a favor to ask of you men. Help your girlfriend, friend, or wife carry her keys or lip gloss. It's going to save you money in the end. Our front pockets are so tiny, that we can't even fit our hands in to them. Do you ever wonder why you see lip glosses and chap sticks in the middle of the road or sidewalk? It's not because we are clumsy and have dropped them, it's because they have been pushed outside of our tiny pockets. It's a terrible environment to be in. Those pockets aren't soft and roomy, they are tight and shallow. Each chap stick screams for air as they are pushed out by each step and then glorify when they have been released onto the cool earth. It's like your pockets gave birth and that baby is lost forever and because our lips need rescue, we are constantly paying for more. More hair ties, more chap sticks, more lip gloss, and more gloves because our cold hands aren't protected by our pockets.

     Don't make fun of us when we are delighted by deep pockets or find out that a dress has them. Don't make fun of us for having so many purses, because I'd rather not have one at all. If you don't want us (women) to have back problems or if you love the shape of a nice, round, butt, then rally for women's pockets.

      Here's a list of things that could fit inside men's jeans: 
1. Wallet
2. Phone
3. Chap sticks- probably multiples
4. Pens
5. Hands
6. Hammers
7. Pocket Knives
8. Small animals (My bro-in-law was able to sneak a snake onto an airplane by putting it in his pocket)
9. Fire crackers
10. Snacks
11. Bottled beverages
12. Toys
13. Lunch
14. Flash lights
15. An outfit change

       A list of things women can fit into their pockets:
1. A quarter
2. Fingertips
3. Not much else




 

     Do you have any embarrassing or silly pocket stories? What can have you fit into your pockets? Please be appropriate with answers!


Monday, October 2, 2017

Even the Dog Turned In

     I love the fall for many reasons. I love the colors, the smells, and the temperature. I love the holidays that come with it. Halloween is my favorite holiday, not for the ghouls and goblins, but for the movies (Hocus Pocus, Casper, Sleepy Hallow), the cutesy decorations, and dressing in costumes to collect candy! This is the time of year when everyone starts to gain weight because once you see that first fallen leaf or feel that crisp air, all you want to do is bake! Pinterest thanks you, autumn.  I also can't forget Thanksgiving. That's the day where everyone should get one super indulgent meal for the year.

     In spite of all that, there are also some minor downsides to this season. School starts up again. That's not a bad thing, but the colds and other illnesses that get shared are. I don't know about you, but I get so tired in the fall. The sun doesn't shine quite as long or as bright. With the start of school, I have early mornings as well as some late nights. The beginning of fall is busy and everyone in my household is tired and has a runny nose.

     Yesterday was a fun day. I started the day off going to a craft fair. Orange, green, black,  and purple were displayed everywhere. Cute Halloween decorations were staring at me, begging me to buy them and take them home. I enjoyed them even though I couldn't buy them because I just knew they would probably be destroyed by my inquisitive kids, bulldozer dogs, or my clumsiness. Maybe I can in a year or two when my youngest is a little older. After the craft fair, my husband, kids, and I went to a pumpkin patch. We didn't get to do as much as we normally get to do when we go because wristbands were needed for most everything there, but we did enjoy walking around with some old friends looking at the cute pumpkin displays. After we left the patch, we went to grandma's to spend the rest of the day. We had planned to go out, but my oldest had a headache and they just wanted to stay in and play.

     Since it was a Sunday night, we knew that we would have to go home to get the kids in bed so they could be bright eyed and bushy tailed in the morning. My husband put the kids to bed while I let the dogs outside to do their potty business. It was dark out there. My German shepherd/beagle/lab mix dog has been a real jerk, lately and has been letting himself out of the yard by pushing on the gate door. Having been wise to his tricks, I went to the gate immediately to stop him from leaving. He kind of gave me his doggy stink eye to tell me that he did not agree with my decision to keep him from strolling the neighborhood and walked off to do his business.

     As I was waiting for the dogs to do their thing, I got a notification on my phone that it was my turn to play a word on scrabble. I opened up the game and played my turn, unaware of what was happening around me. Suddenly, I heard a noise and a hand was over mouth. I tried to let out a scream, but it was muffled, no way anyone in the house would be able to hear me. Just kidding, just kidding. That didn't happen. what did happen was that I couldn't see Simba (German shepherd mix) in the yard. I let our other dog Juno into the house and then called for Simba. He didn't come. I asked my kids and husband if he was upstairs and they said they hadn't seen him.

     My dog outwitted me. I just knew that he must have been hiding in the shadows by the garage. My feeble phone light source not able to reach that part of the yard. I searched frantically for a flashlight or our lantern, none of them where they were supposed to be. I yelled up the stairs asking if anyone knew where they were, accusing the children of sabotage. I had to go into the kitchen to grab my step stool to search the top of our messy bookcase. The top shelf is where I put the flashlights and everything else that we need that doesn't fit our junk drawer. After moving a few things around, I found one, hiding right where it was supposed to be. I felt a twinge of guilt, but it didn't last long. I had to find the dog whose name should have been Butthead.

     I'm angry at my dog for putting me through this search at night when the lights are low and it's too dark to see without a flash light. I'm embarrassed that my neighbors have to hear me call out, "Simba" for the 100394859259th time this year. Growls of "Where are you, Stupid" are permeating from my lips. I listen for the sounds of neighbor's dogs to see if Simba ran through and activated the dog chain. To the right of me, I hear the German Shepherds down the street barking. I think I've found him. I walk a few feet and shine the flashlight towards that house and don't see Simba. At this point, I'm standing at the edge of the alley behind my house. This one of the alley's that I find him at most. I glare down the gravelly path, shining my flashlights, sounding like Johnny from the Shining. "Where's Simba?" I ask. I casually put in a "Just wait until we get home..." when all of a sudden my phone rings. A tune plays, one that I assigned for my husband. I answer it and he says, "You can come back home, now. Simba was in his kennel the whole time." I gasp, my eyes slit and I say, "Why didn't you check in there before I searched outside?" He asks me why I didn't keep a better eye on the dog. I growl and hang up. Point taken. I walked back home, a sort of walk of shame, and head inside and shut the door behind me.

      You see, we're all tired. Our weeks have been busy. My children are so tired, they didn't notice that the dog that I was searching for was in their room. My husband didn't notice when he was tucking them into bed. I didn't even notice that he went back inside. Fall is a busy time, so busy that even my dog turned in for the night.

     Tell me about your tired mishaps!

Simba, the sneaky dog and my lovely daughter.

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