Thursday, October 5, 2017

Equal Rights For Pockets

      I'm a girly tomboy. I like to do sporty things (sometimes) and also like to dress nicely. I don't like to carry around a purse and most days, I want to wear jeans. However, in order to find a nice pair of jeans, I have to sacrifice something. This is also the same for most women's jeans- There are no pockets, or if there are, they are only in the back or they are extremely tiny in the front.

     Have you ever carried a purse around all day? It hurts your neck, your shoulders, and your back. If you don't normally carry a purse around, you have to be careful to remember that you have it or else you will forget it. I've done that a few times and the panic is out of this world. I've been lucky enough to find my lost purse, unscathed, every single time, but you never know who will find it and be dishonest.

     If I'm not carrying around lip gloss or chap stick, I'm definitely carrying my keys and phone around. If you have tiny pockets, you have either crammed your keys into your tiny front pocket and hope that they don't fall out, or put them in your back pocket. Have you ever sat on keys? Ouch! Have you ever sat down with keys in your tiny front pockets? It's like going under the knife to get your skin or fat removed, but without something to numb you first. Your keys poke into your skin and it's awful.

     Women's jeans are designed to flatter our butts. How flattering can they look when we have to shove a phone into the back pocket? True story- I tried to put my phone in my back pocket the other day. Unfortunately, my pants have been so stretched out back there that 1. It looks like I have a flabby butt and 2. I ended up putting my phone down the opening of my pants instead of my back pocket. It was a good thing that I was in my kitchen when I did this because if I was out in public, everyone would be able to see the large rectangular outline of my phone as it made its way towards the opening of my right pant leg. I couldn't tell the difference between my stretched out pocket and my waist band.

     I have a favor to ask of you men. Help your girlfriend, friend, or wife carry her keys or lip gloss. It's going to save you money in the end. Our front pockets are so tiny, that we can't even fit our hands in to them. Do you ever wonder why you see lip glosses and chap sticks in the middle of the road or sidewalk? It's not because we are clumsy and have dropped them, it's because they have been pushed outside of our tiny pockets. It's a terrible environment to be in. Those pockets aren't soft and roomy, they are tight and shallow. Each chap stick screams for air as they are pushed out by each step and then glorify when they have been released onto the cool earth. It's like your pockets gave birth and that baby is lost forever and because our lips need rescue, we are constantly paying for more. More hair ties, more chap sticks, more lip gloss, and more gloves because our cold hands aren't protected by our pockets.

     Don't make fun of us when we are delighted by deep pockets or find out that a dress has them. Don't make fun of us for having so many purses, because I'd rather not have one at all. If you don't want us (women) to have back problems or if you love the shape of a nice, round, butt, then rally for women's pockets.

      Here's a list of things that could fit inside men's jeans: 
1. Wallet
2. Phone
3. Chap sticks- probably multiples
4. Pens
5. Hands
6. Hammers
7. Pocket Knives
8. Small animals (My bro-in-law was able to sneak a snake onto an airplane by putting it in his pocket)
9. Fire crackers
10. Snacks
11. Bottled beverages
12. Toys
13. Lunch
14. Flash lights
15. An outfit change

       A list of things women can fit into their pockets:
1. A quarter
2. Fingertips
3. Not much else




 

     Do you have any embarrassing or silly pocket stories? What can have you fit into your pockets? Please be appropriate with answers!


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