My Son Doesn't Want Me Anymore

    Over 7 years ago, my first baby boy was born. He was two weeks early, which was totally ok with me. If he had been born on his due date, he would have had to share his birthday with a major holiday and well, that would have sucked.

    My water had broken at 9:00ish PM on a Tuesday night and he was born 16 hours later. His birth was so easy. I hard hardly felt any labor because I had my epidural early. Since I had to labor through the night, the nurses called the anesthesiologist in when he got into the hospital at about 3:00 AM. They wanted to be sure that I didn't have to wait for him later in case he was in surgery and couldn't come right away. I was able to sleep when I could, but because of the epidural, I had to have my blood pressure taken regularly. Between the nerves and the cuff squeezing my arm every few minutes, sleep was hard to come by, but it was ok, because I was going to have a baby a baby soon.

     

     When that baby was born, any doubts or fears went away. This precious bundle was created with love and he was my mini-me. My husband's and my life were going to be different from then on. I nursed this baby full time for a month and part time for a whole year. There were many sleepless nights and the laundry was constantly piling up due to diaper surprises (poop straight up the back) and spit up on all of our clothes. Despite it all, he was still a wonder and an amazement to us. I loved him so much and he was such a good baby that I had another baby so he would have someone to play with. 

     He and his sister were perfect. They were great company and wonderful to talk with. Each day they would do something to amaze me. Even when they would be naughty, they were able to do something to make everything better. Parenting isn't easy, but they made it so worth it... So we had another baby.

     There were three children now. Two boys and one girl. All of them are best friends and play together all the time. Before the youngest got old enough to be adventurous and move around, my oldest was still my buddy. Every once in a while, he still wants to play with me or snuggle, but these days, he's leading the parade and his brother and sister follow him.

     This year, my oldest is in second grade. There has been a BIG change in his attitude towards me. He doesn't want to hold my hand or snuggle. I'm not the first person that he goes to tell things to. He likes video games and more boyish things. Daddy is the person that he wants to talk to. Daddy is the person that he wants to hang out with. Daddy is the person that he wants to listen to. Now, I understand how my husband must have felt over the years when the kids all went straight to me. 

     My heart is a little sad and even frustrated at times. (Mostly when he doesn't believe that I too, know what I'm talking about. Daddy is all-knowing to him.) However, this is the time that I get to bond more with my daughter. She used to be daddy's little girl, (and she'll always be) but now she wants to do girly things. She doesn't want to play video games or train dinosaurs. She wants to watch My Little Pony and have tea parties. These are things that I can do. 

     My son might still need me from time to time and will want me again in the future. I'm not discouraged. I'm not mad or upset. I understand. It was just his time to break from me because he's not my little baby anymore. He's growing up and now he needs his daddy and wants to be one of the guys. It was part of my job to nurture him and shape him to be a kind boy. It's his daddy's turn to shape him into a good man.

A Case For an Overthinker

     I'm one of those annoying people who asks a lot of questions. I'm an intuitive person and I overthink things to death. It might have to do with some of my anxiety, but overall, I think I have a pretty good handle on things.... I guess.

     This is what my day looks like. I walked the kids to school, this morning. The school just put up a fence all around the school. There are only two ways to get into the school, now. If I were on the committee who decided to put that fence up, some questions would be raised.

Not the actual school

1. What happens if there is an emergency where the kids need to be evacuated? The kids and teachers can't escape through the field. Instead, everyone has to go out the same fence opening. If there is an actual fire, there really could be a potential explosion if the fire happened near the gas line. The kids can evacuate into the field, but what if they need more room than that? They'll either all get jammed into the two openings or they'll have to scale the fence to get out the fastest way possible.
2. So much for having the kids who walk get to school in time. In order to cut into the field, they'd have to climb the fence. The only way to get to the school now is for the kids to take the sidewalk and go ALL the way around. It's also more unsafe for them to go along that way because there are busy roads on all sides of the school. The door that my kids go through is also the door where all the parents drop their kids off for school. Many of those parents are in a hurry and aren't paying attention to the kids outside of their vehicle. It takes one kid to slip off the curb and get hit to have a lawsuit against you. If there was a way for them to cut through the field, all of this thought was for not.
3. Why didn't they make a couple of openings at the other ends of the fence? I understand wanting to keep strangers off of the property. Make gates that can close and have an employee chain it up once a reasonable amount of time has passed since the tardy bell.
4. Those geese inside of the field... My m-i-l works next to a school who has a coyote decoy out on the lawn. It deters the geese so there are none in the field making a poopy mess.

It doesn't have to be THIS menacing.

     This thinking is just from today. If you hired and overthinker, think of how many problems could be solved before they even happen?!?!?!

     There are times when my ability gets annoying. I'm extremely perceptive. I pick up on faces and if I'm brave enough, will question you about what it means. You may not even know that you did it, but if you don't answer me, I WILL create a whole dialogue from your perspective and mine. Watch out!

Example:

Me: What is that look supposed to mean?
Him: What look?
Me: You made a face.
Me: (Imitates him) I didn't make a face, Britt.
Me: Yes you did!
Me: (Imitates him) No, I didn't. You're...
Me: Paranoid? You did make a look and I don't think you agree with how I spoke with the kids.
Me: (Imitates him) It's not nice to tell the kids that a little man named the Tooth Napper is going to come steal the kids teeth if they don't brush them because he collects dirty teeth.
Him: You said it, not me.

     Just another reason to hire or pair up with an overthinker. Put someone in an interrogation room and we'll tell you if they are innocent or not. We're just that good at questioning and reading people.

     Overthinking does have its disadvantages; going to bed at an early time is one. there is nothing like lying in bed, exhausted, but then your brain wakes up. My husband hates this because then I ask him questions until 1:00 AM and I have to ask questions every which way to truly understand what is being said. I also like to over explain things. I don't know if that's my overthinking or my wanting you to know EXACTLY what I'm thinking or how I'm feeling.

     Overthinking, I think, also causes me to have trippy dreams or weird nightmares. If I kept a diary, I'd have many plots for book or movie ideas.

     However, even though overthinking can cause problems, including thinking too much about how a person perceives me or what I could have said or done differently after a situation, I still like my overthinking self. I think that I feel smarter and am a good problem solver. Am I? Aren't I? I guess I'll just have to think about that later.

     What type of quirks do you have? Are you an overthinker? 

How Did You Meet Your Friends?

     I don't remember how I met my youngest friends in early grade school. I remember that Cody and I liked to play monkey. He was the monkey and I was his owner/trainer. He was my friend all the way up until I moved to a different town in the beginning of 4th grade. Our last day was sad and I had hoped that we would see each other often, but we never did.
   
     When we moved, it took me a little while to make friends. I was heart broken and missed my friend and first crush. (Don't tell him!) But, the move was one of the best things that could have happened to me. I had to ride a bus to and from school and so did Kristen. We met through yarn. Yarn and Beanie Babies was hugely popular in the 90's and Kristen had both. I would watch her make bracelets on the bus and asked her one day if I could try. She showed me how to make some bracelets and we became fast friends. We didn't have class together, but we did share a lunch and 4-square was the best sport, ever!

Sammy (another excellent meet!), Me, Krissy!!!, Laura!!!!, and Brittany!

     We moved again when I started 5th grade. Kristen and I stayed friends and called each other everyday on our parent's landline. Weird huh? I made a few friends in fifth grade, but none of them were really best friends. I was glad when I went to Jr. High in 6th grade. I was reunited with Kristen and got to meet more friends.

     I can't remember if I became friends with Laura in the 6th grade or if we became friends in the 7th. I played the cello and she the viola? It could have been the violin. Any who, we both played an instrument, but we really met on the bus. Our relationship was weird. We beat each other up on the bus, but were also friends. Weird, right?

From the Top: Me, Laura, Krissy, and Kaitlyn

     One of the weirdest ways that I've made friends, however, was the time I went to church camp after watching Harry Potter. I was in love with Sean Biggerstaff who played Oliver Wood. My friend Kristen and Laura were embarrassed of me as I wandered around wearing the shirt that I made with all of his faces and his name plastered onto it. I wish I still had that shirt, but the memory of it will still remain because there was another person at that camp who loved Sean Biggerstaff too. Danielle probably loved him even more than I did and when she saw that shirt, we became fast friends. We walked around the camp ground arm in arm, stalking the band member of the musical group who came to lead worship for the week. He was Scottish and we just needed him to say a few Scottish phrases to appease our fetishes for Scottish men like Sean.

Kristen and Scottish Guy

Andrew and Danielly!

       After her, the weirdest friend meeting was probably with my friend Robert. We were all new students at college and were invited to a mandatory President of the school luncheon at his house. My friend Robert and his roommate were sitting alone and I had a group of friends that I already knew from camp and quizzing. (Being a Nazarene and going to a Nazarene school had it's benefits. You knew a ton of people.) Since I was a peppy person, I invited them over to eat with us. To break the ice, I initiated some games to play. One of them was one I learned in high school. It was called jousting. You linked hands with the person you're playing against and stick out your pointer finger. The gist of the game is to poke the other person before they can poke you. Everything was going great and we were all having a good time until I went to poke Robert and ended up slapping him on the butt (on accident) with my other hand as I went in for the kill. We all had a great laugh and we've been friends ever since.

From the Front: Robert!!! Craig (husband) and some girl that I don't remember. (sorry!)

Edit: My sister wanted me to reshare the moment I met my husband. It was the first couple days of college. My roommate and I had been hanging out a lot and I needed a break. Since I knew a lot of freshman from church get-togethers, I wandered around campus and found a seat on a bench outside of the quad after an unsuccessful search. A few minutes later, Craig and his future roommate, Brandon found me. They thought that I looked lonely so we started to talk. I started a game of would you rather and asked ridiculous questions like: Would you rather get hit by a bus full of nuns or a car full of clowns. Would you rather be set on fire or be frozen. Morbid, weird stuff to ask people you don't know. The last question I asked was, would you rather be told that you have a booger in your nose by a stranger or by a friend. The thought was deep and one of the guys informed the other that a booger was, indeed, hanging from their nose. My husband knew, right from the start, that I was a weird, morbid, dark-humored type of person and still married me.

      The way that we meet strangers and become friends can be weird and awesome. What might seem strange can give you a good story to tell. Don't discredit someone on first impressions because they might surprise you.

     What weird or interesting ways have you met your friends?

Equal Rights For Pockets

      I'm a girly tomboy. I like to do sporty things (sometimes) and also like to dress nicely. I don't like to carry around a purse and most days, I want to wear jeans. However, in order to find a nice pair of jeans, I have to sacrifice something. This is also the same for most women's jeans- There are no pockets, or if there are, they are only in the back or they are extremely tiny in the front.

     Have you ever carried a purse around all day? It hurts your neck, your shoulders, and your back. If you don't normally carry a purse around, you have to be careful to remember that you have it or else you will forget it. I've done that a few times and the panic is out of this world. I've been lucky enough to find my lost purse, unscathed, every single time, but you never know who will find it and be dishonest.

     If I'm not carrying around lip gloss or chap stick, I'm definitely carrying my keys and phone around. If you have tiny pockets, you have either crammed your keys into your tiny front pocket and hope that they don't fall out, or put them in your back pocket. Have you ever sat on keys? Ouch! Have you ever sat down with keys in your tiny front pockets? It's like going under the knife to get your skin or fat removed, but without something to numb you first. Your keys poke into your skin and it's awful.

     Women's jeans are designed to flatter our butts. How flattering can they look when we have to shove a phone into the back pocket? True story- I tried to put my phone in my back pocket the other day. Unfortunately, my pants have been so stretched out back there that 1. It looks like I have a flabby butt and 2. I ended up putting my phone down the opening of my pants instead of my back pocket. It was a good thing that I was in my kitchen when I did this because if I was out in public, everyone would be able to see the large rectangular outline of my phone as it made its way towards the opening of my right pant leg. I couldn't tell the difference between my stretched out pocket and my waist band.

     I have a favor to ask of you men. Help your girlfriend, friend, or wife carry her keys or lip gloss. It's going to save you money in the end. Our front pockets are so tiny, that we can't even fit our hands in to them. Do you ever wonder why you see lip glosses and chap sticks in the middle of the road or sidewalk? It's not because we are clumsy and have dropped them, it's because they have been pushed outside of our tiny pockets. It's a terrible environment to be in. Those pockets aren't soft and roomy, they are tight and shallow. Each chap stick screams for air as they are pushed out by each step and then glorify when they have been released onto the cool earth. It's like your pockets gave birth and that baby is lost forever and because our lips need rescue, we are constantly paying for more. More hair ties, more chap sticks, more lip gloss, and more gloves because our cold hands aren't protected by our pockets.

     Don't make fun of us when we are delighted by deep pockets or find out that a dress has them. Don't make fun of us for having so many purses, because I'd rather not have one at all. If you don't want us (women) to have back problems or if you love the shape of a nice, round, butt, then rally for women's pockets.

      Here's a list of things that could fit inside men's jeans: 

1. Wallet

2. Phone

3. Chap sticks- probably multiples

4. Pens

5. Hands

6. Hammers

7. Pocket Knives

8. Small animals (My bro-in-law was able to sneak a snake onto an airplane by putting it in his pocket)

9. Fire crackers

10. Snacks

11. Bottled beverages

12. Toys

13. Lunch

14. Flash lights

15. An outfit change

       A list of things women can fit into their pockets:

1. A quarter

2. Fingertips

3. Not much else

 

     Do you have any embarrassing or silly pocket stories? What can have you fit into your pockets? Please be appropriate with answers!

Even the Dog Turned In

     I love the fall for many reasons. I love the colors, the smells, and the temperature. I love the holidays that come with it. Halloween is my favorite holiday, not for the ghouls and goblins, but for the movies (Hocus Pocus, Casper, Sleepy Hallow), the cutesy decorations, and dressing in costumes to collect candy! This is the time of year when everyone starts to gain weight because once you see that first fallen leaf or feel that crisp air, all you want to do is bake! Pinterest thanks you, autumn.  I also can't forget Thanksgiving. That's the day where everyone should get one super indulgent meal for the year.

     In spite of all that, there are also some minor downsides to this season. School starts up again. That's not a bad thing, but the colds and other illnesses that get shared are. I don't know about you, but I get so tired in the fall. The sun doesn't shine quite as long or as bright. With the start of school, I have early mornings as well as some late nights. The beginning of fall is busy and everyone in my household is tired and has a runny nose.

     Yesterday was a fun day. I started the day off going to a craft fair. Orange, green, black,  and purple were displayed everywhere. Cute Halloween decorations were staring at me, begging me to buy them and take them home. I enjoyed them even though I couldn't buy them because I just knew they would probably be destroyed by my inquisitive kids, bulldozer dogs, or my clumsiness. Maybe I can in a year or two when my youngest is a little older. After the craft fair, my husband, kids, and I went to a pumpkin patch. We didn't get to do as much as we normally get to do when we go because wristbands were needed for most everything there, but we did enjoy walking around with some old friends looking at the cute pumpkin displays. After we left the patch, we went to grandma's to spend the rest of the day. We had planned to go out, but my oldest had a headache and they just wanted to stay in and play.

     Since it was a Sunday night, we knew that we would have to go home to get the kids in bed so they could be bright eyed and bushy tailed in the morning. My husband put the kids to bed while I let the dogs outside to do their potty business. It was dark out there. My German shepherd/beagle/lab mix dog has been a real jerk, lately and has been letting himself out of the yard by pushing on the gate door. Having been wise to his tricks, I went to the gate immediately to stop him from leaving. He kind of gave me his doggy stink eye to tell me that he did not agree with my decision to keep him from strolling the neighborhood and walked off to do his business.

     As I was waiting for the dogs to do their thing, I got a notification on my phone that it was my turn to play a word on scrabble. I opened up the game and played my turn, unaware of what was happening around me. Suddenly, I heard a noise and a hand was over mouth. I tried to let out a scream, but it was muffled, no way anyone in the house would be able to hear me. Just kidding, just kidding. That didn't happen. what did happen was that I couldn't see Simba (German shepherd mix) in the yard. I let our other dog Juno into the house and then called for Simba. He didn't come. I asked my kids and husband if he was upstairs and they said they hadn't seen him.

     My dog outwitted me. I just knew that he must have been hiding in the shadows by the garage. My feeble phone light source not able to reach that part of the yard. I searched frantically for a flashlight or our lantern, none of them where they were supposed to be. I yelled up the stairs asking if anyone knew where they were, accusing the children of sabotage. I had to go into the kitchen to grab my step stool to search the top of our messy bookcase. The top shelf is where I put the flashlights and everything else that we need that doesn't fit our junk drawer. After moving a few things around, I found one, hiding right where it was supposed to be. I felt a twinge of guilt, but it didn't last long. I had to find the dog whose name should have been Butthead.

     I'm angry at my dog for putting me through this search at night when the lights are low and it's too dark to see without a flash light. I'm embarrassed that my neighbors have to hear me call out, "Simba" for the 100394859259th time this year. Growls of "Where are you, Stupid" are permeating from my lips. I listen for the sounds of neighbor's dogs to see if Simba ran through and activated the dog chain. To the right of me, I hear the German Shepherds down the street barking. I think I've found him. I walk a few feet and shine the flashlight towards that house and don't see Simba. At this point, I'm standing at the edge of the alley behind my house. This one of the alley's that I find him at most. I glare down the gravelly path, shining my flashlights, sounding like Johnny from the Shining. "Where's Simba?" I ask. I casually put in a "Just wait until we get home..." when all of a sudden my phone rings. A tune plays, one that I assigned for my husband. I answer it and he says, "You can come back home, now. Simba was in his kennel the whole time." I gasp, my eyes slit and I say, "Why didn't you check in there before I searched outside?" He asks me why I didn't keep a better eye on the dog. I growl and hang up. Point taken. I walked back home, a sort of walk of shame, and head inside and shut the door behind me.

      You see, we're all tired. Our weeks have been busy. My children are so tired, they didn't notice that the dog that I was searching for was in their room. My husband didn't notice when he was tucking them into bed. I didn't even notice that he went back inside. Fall is a busy time, so busy that even my dog turned in for the night.

     Tell me about your tired mishaps!

Simba, the sneaky dog and my lovely daughter.

10 Learning Crafts to Do With Kids

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I've been a stay at home parent for four and a half years. Over this time, I try to do my awesome mommy thing and do projects and crafts with my kids to help them learn. As an expert, keep my kids out of trouble, mom, I've had experience with Pinterest and looking things up. I've compiled a list of my top 10 favorites crafts. Most of these I've tried and the others look promising. I hope you're able to enjoy. (Click the links for instructions on how to make some of these crafts.)

1.  Paper Chains  This was my favorite thing to do around Christmas time. It was super easy to make and it helped you count down the days until Christmas. Teach your kids counting, colors, how to use scissors and patterns. Click the link to learn how to make a paper chain.

2. Bake cupcakes! Grab your favorite box of Betty Crocker or use a family recipe. Have the kids help you measure out the ingredients to learn measurements or just how to help. When the cup cakes are done baking and are ready to be topped, make some vanilla frosting, divide it into bowls, and add food color to each bowl for different color. You can teach your child colors in a fun edible way and if you want to add sprinkles or other toppings, you can also teach your child to count along.

3. ABC Magnets! What's nice about magnets is that they can stick to your refrigerator or dishwasher. Have your child play with them and try to spell them out. They can play with them while you cook dinner or you can use them on some metal sheet pans. Encourage them to remember the letters and try to sound out goofy word concoctions, they'll get a laugh out of you trying.

4. Paint in a Bag- I wasn't sure how my kids would like this, especially my older kids, but they really enjoyed moving the paint around and mixing the colors. On the plus side, it's also mess free! Click the link to learn how to do this.

5. Peanut Butter Play Dough - Kids can learn all sorts of things when they play with play dough. It's even better when it's peanut butter! You can add chocolate chips or other edible ingredients to count with or to help sculpt. Play around with shapes, teach about size. If your child is allergic to peanut butter, try this one. You can color this, so that's a plus, but I'm not sure on the taste. 

6. Make a bird feeder! I've made my bird feeders with pine cones, peanut butter, and bird seed. It's super easy, you just tie a string around a pine cone or apple stem, layer it with peanut butter, roll it in bird seed, and then hang it up outside.  Teach your child how to take care of other creatures and sit and watch the different kind of animals that come by to eat from it. 

7. Colored Pasta- I haven't done this one yet, but I definitely want to try. This is such a great idea! you can teach your kids about colors, teach them math by adding and subtracting, and when you're finished, you can teach them motor skills by making jewelry. 

8. Sensory Bottles- Help your child learn texture, colors, density, and more with these Do It Yourself sensory bottles. 

9. Ornaments! I'm not an artist, but I try to do something creative each year with my kids to hand out to grandparents or to keep for myself. My favorite one to do is the salt dough hand print ornaments which is in the link above. This doesn't really teach your kids anything, but it's a nice keep sake to have.

10. Go outside and explore! This isn't a craft, but it is a great learning experience. Watch bugs and look at the clouds. Discuss the color and texture of the leaves and talk about the temperature. The outdoors has a never ending supply of learning tools.

   Tell me which crafts are your favorites or which ones that you like to do with your kids that aren't on this list. 

If 30 Year Old Me Could Give 18 Year Old Me Advice

     I was talking with my husband, the other day, about the possibility of going back to school to get a degree in writing or English. I had been searching for work from home jobs a few days earlier and the jobs that I thought sounded like fun and something that I might like to do required a degree in one of those two fields. So I thought about school, wondering if I would be dedicated enough to go back. I was getting kind of excited about it and decided to talk with him about starting over.
      He listened to what I had to say and then dashed my hopes with just a few sentences. I didn't know that if I already had a degree that I wouldn't be able to get financial aid and getting any other type of assistance would be extremely difficult. If I went back to school, I would have to take out more loans and our lives are already stalled because of the small mountain of loans that we have already taken out.
     I started college when I was 18 years old. I didn't know what I wanted to major in until the end of my Sophomore year. I had changed my major from Psychology to Housing and Environmental design to Marketing and then to Business Administration. I was lucky enough to graduate with a degree within 4 years. I was 22 when I graduated. At 30, I'm still figuring out what I want to do. Some days I think I'd like to open up a bakery and other days I just want to live off of my creative mind. I do know that I enjoy writing and now that I have a better idea of jobs and what different careers look for in a potential employee, I feel saddened that I'm not offered the same help that I was offered when I was 18 and hadn't a clue.
     Now that I'm 30, I know how much of a negative impact school loans have. I know that I'm not going to magically have job opportunities and will be able to pay them off as soon as I can because I'm not going to graduate and get a job that pays me $100,000 a year or more until I've had experience and have worked my way up.

     Being 30 sucks. I'm wiser than my 18 year old self. If I could tell my 18 year old self something without it taking away my kids, I would have told her to research her options. I would have told her that it is possible to get jobs doing things that she loves. I would have told her that when she worked at a university who paid their employees tuition, to get her masters degree before she had to leave that job.
 
     30 year old self is disappointed in 18 year old self. She's also disappointed in the finance industry for taking advantage of other 18 year old selves who have no idea that their choices affect so much of their future. Shame on financial aid for not helping those who got a clue. 

     My husband didn't want to crush my hopes. He worked in financial aid for several years and has an idea of how financial aid works. He knows that I want bigger things in life right now and adding more loans would make it more difficult to achieve those other dreams. So, for now, I will continue to write this blog. I will continue to write my books with hopes that one day I will be published. I'm going to keep on dreaming and keep on doing and I guess I'll do that without a second degree. There used to be this valuable thing called experience that employers loved to see and valued on its own and a degree in a certain field wasn't always needed. I will keep getting experience and keep on keeping on.

     Are there things that you wish you could tell your younger self?

Update:**** I understand now that my husband misunderstood me when I asked him about going back to school. He thought that I was asking about getting another BS. I can't get financial aid for something that I already have. If I wanted to go for my MA, financing would be easier.