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Showing posts with label what they didn't tell you about pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label what they didn't tell you about pregnancy. Show all posts

Monday, December 4, 2017

What They Didn't Tell You About Pregnancy- Love

     



I haven't made it a secret that I didn't want kids as I was growing up from recent blog posts. Whenever I saw a baby or held one, I was one of those people whose eyes were huge and panicky. I never knew what to do with babies and couldn't wait to pass one off. If I ever told you your baby was cute, in the past, I was probably only saying that to be nice and really didn't mean it. "Wow, Brittany, that was really harsh". Yeah, probably, but that was just who I was. Somewhere along the line, probably when my maturity started to set in, I was tolerant of babies and thought that maybe, just maybe, I would like to have some of my own.

      As a first time parent, let me tell you, it's terrifying! The thought of, "What did I get myself into?" as I was pushing my 8lb baby out of my body occurred a few times, but when I had that baby and he was placed into my arms, I looked into that ugly, smushed face and thought, "Wow, this is the most magnificent thing I've ever made. He's so handsome. Squished, but handsome." ("Brittany! What a terrible thing to say about your baby!"-Um, hello.... babies come out squishy and looking like E.T. Give them a couple of hours to dewrinkle and turn a flattering shade and place them into those cute little hospital gowns and blankets, then you will see a cute baby.)

       So, you figure that you'll love your child, but you're never fully aware of how much until they are with you, in your arms. That love just overflows and you can't stop looking at your baby. Every few minutes, you look at them and place little kisses on their tiny, head. It just envelopes you and you know that if anything were to happen to your baby, you would avenge anyone who did them wrong.

      Having babies is addicting. There is that unconditional love and when your baby gets older, they don't need you as much. Then, when you see someone else's baby, your womb literally aches. When you look at your spouse, they say, "Don't even think about it," because when you look at them, they see your hopeful eyes, the ones that say, "Let's have another," and they are thinking, "Woman, we just had one." Babies are addicting, almost like a drug. When they are new and shiny, you're tired and euphoric; an odd combination that works.

       There's not always a logical thought when it comes to wanting to have another baby. Some blame it on hormones and that seems right to me. I didn't use to cry at every movie or commercial that I watched, but those hormones turned me into my mother and I used to make fun of her for doing that. Oxytocin, adrenaline, endorphins, all hormones that make you love, feel excited and happy, those are all in overdrive when you bond with your baby and they NEVER go away.... Ok, so yes, they do, but you've experienced motherhood so everything reminds you of your child so you talk about them to all who will make eye contact with you.

      "Well, I think I know what it feels like. I have nieces and nephews and I love them to pieces." Well so do I, and I do love them to pieces, but it's not the same special bond that you have for your children. Your children are a result of something that love made. They were made from scratch and at the end of the day, they're yours. It's just more special. I'm sure the feeling is the same for adoption. You can like-even love your brother's car, but it's not your own. If something happens to your brother's vehicle, you're not going to be heart broken or stressed out about it like you would if it was your car. However if you take over payments and start driving your brother's vehicle and it's become yours, it's going to hurt if you get into a fender bender or see that someone has dinged it up in the parking lot. I know that this isn't the best analogy, but hopefully you get what I'm saying. Having kids that are your own, is just... indescribable.

       I knew that if I had kids that I would love them, but I wasn't prepared for the love that I could contain. I didn't know that having kids would make me a better person because I wanted to be better for them. I didn't know that having kids was going to make me so proud of them. I didn't know that having kids was going to change me, my likes and interest. I didn't know. I suspected that I would feel love for them, but I didn't know that it would be so consuming. I didn't know.

Edit: I had a friend who made a very good point. Don't feel bad if love isn't instantaneous.  It doesn't happen to everyone the same way or right away. For some mom's they don't always get that chance to bond with their baby right away. Ex: My friend's daughter was taken to the NICU right away. The baby had contracted an infection or something that caused her baby to be incubated and the mother wasn't able to bond with the baby right away and that first skin to contact is important in those first moments. Imagine the fear and worry that she had for her baby. I can't speak for my friend, but to be a hormonal, emotional, worried wreck, it probably caused anger or a little bit of resentment towards the baby. It just sometimes happens that way.


      Many times when someone gives their baby up for adoption, it is recommended that the birth mother not hold that new baby because that skin to skin connection is so powerful that someone who made an informed decision beforehand can get emotionally attached.

      Those are a couple of cases, but daddy's don't go through the hormonal and emotional battles that mommy's go through, but they still love their babies. It can take time, but that skin to skin, holding, hearing, experiencing baby gets you invested and eventually, that love seeps in, kind of like the same way it happens when dating. Love isn't always instant and at first sight, but once you get to know them, it becomes apparent.


More Posts Like This One

What They Didn't Tell You About Pregnancy- Sleep
What They Didn't Tell You About Pregnancy- Hair
What They Didn't Tell You About Pregnancy- Foot Size
What They Didn't Tell You About Pregnancy- Eyes
How To Prepare for Pregnancy- Get a Cat

Thursday, November 9, 2017

What They Didn't Tell You About Pregnancy- Foot Size

 

So the other day, I posted about Astigmatism and how it can be an unknown side effect to being pregnant. We always think about the glow, the morning sickness, the heartburn, but there are some side effects that some women don't know about and they wonder, "What on earth?"

     I am only 5'4'' in height. The average height in women (from what I just looked up) is 5'4''. I think it used to be 5'5'', but I guess that's changed. When I typed in the question, "What's the average shoe size for women" this is what popped up.

American women, on the average, wear a size 8-wide shoe (American men: size 10.5) - Approximately 68% of American women wear shoes between the sizes of 6.5 and 9.5.
     Can you guess what my shoe size used to be? You would probably guess in between those numbers and you would be incorrect. Before children, I wore a size 10. The highest woman's average is 9.5. Do you know how hard it is to find some cute shoes or any shoes in a size 10? Shoe shopping has always been kind of depressing for me. Stores don't always carry the same shoe in a 10 as the do for a 9.5. There is only a half size difference. It's like shopping for plus size clothes, we size 10 shoe wearers get the short end of the stick. We get the ugly or plain shoes while you size 8s get the cute sneakers or dress shoes.

      Guess what size I wear now? After giving birth to 3 children, my feet have grown a whole shoe size, size 11. My feet are so disproportionate to my height. Why does a 5'4'' woman need bozo the clown size feet?

     You may be wondering why this happens or if the size of your feet really change. I mean, why listen to someone you may not know very well? Someone, however did research, and if you really wanted to look into it, I'm sure that you could find even more research studies about it. You can check out the article here  or you can read part of this snippet.

The change in foot size may be due to the extra weight women carry around during pregnancy, which puts greater stress on the feet, and, thus, may flatten the arch, the researchers said. In addition, pregnant women produce hormones that increase the looseness of the joints and ligaments (tissue that connects bone to bone), possibly making the foot structure more malleable. 
Most of the women involved in the new study who experienced changes in their foot length and arch height were first-time mothers. Women had given birth to two or three children did not experience such significant changes. This result suggests that a woman's first pregnancy may have the greatest impact on foot size, the researchers said. But a larger study will be needed to confirm this, Segal added. (Twenty-nine of the women in the study were first-time moms; 17 were second-time moms, and three were third-time moms.)
     All I know, is that it got even more difficult to buy shoes. I'm probably closer to a size 10.5, but you know what, I have never seen that size in stores. So, when I wear my shoes, if I wear a size 10, my toenails feel like they are going to fall off, forget about even running in them. If I wear a size 11, my shoes will mostly fit, but my feet slip around and sometimes that causes some serious heat from the friction it caused. What do I value more, toenails or soft feet? Cute shoes or comfort? I guess, for now, I will just not exercise as much (keeps the heat at bay) and just settle for granny shoes.

     Have your feet changed in size? Did they ever go back to the normal size?


More Like This:

What They Didn't Tell You About Pregnancy- Sleep
What They Didn't Tell You About Pregnancy- Love
What They Didn't Tell You About Pregnancy- Hair
What They Didn't Tell You About Pregnancy- Eyes
How To Prepare for Pregnancy- Get a Cat

Monday, November 6, 2017

What They Didn't Tell You About Pregnancy- Eyes



   There are so may things that are associated with pregnancy. Things that most people know or think of when you think about what could happen to a woman when she's pregnant. For instance:

     Pregnancy glow! When you see a new mother, what do you hear in movies or say in real life? Girl, you're glowing! That could be from happiness or sweat from your body temperature rising. It's usually meant as a compliment when someone tells you that you're glowing, but I was in the percent of women who perspired more than I would have liked, so I just would roll my eyes while thanking them.

Not my best pregnancy glow picture, but there is definitely a baby in that belly (Look at that bad perm choice!).

     Another thing that people associate with pregnancy- Cravings!!! Pickles and ice cream anyone? Ok, that was never me. I usually craved chocolate milk or jalapeno poppers.

     Morning sickness- Ok, so not all women get that- lucky you! I had morning sickness all day until like 4:00 PM during my whole first trimester and for a short time in my second trimester. I was lucky to have my grandma, who took such good care of me, live so close. Without her care, my oldest child would have probably set the house on fire or something while my head was in the toilet. Yay retirement!

      So... What are some things that you don't really realize or understand until it's happening to you? I'm going to write a little miniseries about those horrors and, hopefully, it will be funny. This first one, however is about...


Astigmatism!


      So, what is astigmatism? Astigmatism is when your eye isn't rounded the way it is supposed to be so when light enters your eyes, things can appear blurry or distorted. Let me highlight the symptoms that I have from the following list:

Symptoms

  • blurred or distorted vision at all distances
  • headaches
  • excessive squinting
  • eye strain, especially when the eye has to focus for long periods, as in reading from paper or a computer monitor
  • difficulty seeing at night

     Along with telling me that I have a really cool birth defect in my eye (a random speck that everyone has but it normally goes away at birth, but mine didn't and it was totally awesome for him to see), my doctor told me that I had developed a slight astigmatism. I can wear contacts that are developed for astigmatism since I already have near-sighted vision, but he said that the likely cause of developing this astigmatism at my age was because of my pregnancies. Do you remember that pregnancy glow that I was talking about earlier? Women get to have like double their volume of blood during pregnancy or something like that. All of that extra blood actually changed my eye shape a little bit. Don't worry, though, this doesn't happen to everyone. It probably happened already because I already had eye sight problems.

     This is how it has affected me: If I'm wearing my glasses when I'm in a dark room or outside, you may see me randomly duck or get startled by something. That's because the shadows that come in through my peripherals made me see a shadow that made my brain think that a bat was flying towards my head. My latest astigmatism figment of my imagination was when I was standing outside at my parent's house during their housewarming party. I think I might have even been wearing my contacts at the time. I was talking with my brother-in-law (I think) and I jumped, might have even screeched because the power box on the pole that I was standing next too in my parent's yard, looked like a random man standing beside me and he hadn't been there before. I of course figured out what had happened at the time and had to endure the endless mocking.


     I'm also more granny like when I drive at night. It's better with my contacts so I try not to drive with my glasses, but some nights I forget. I used to love driving in the rain and at night, but now, not as much because random ghost bodies appear (not really) but it is a hazard.

     If you suspect that you might have astigmatism and haven't been to the eye doctor in a while, get your eyes checked out. Contacts are life savers and if you must drive, it's better to drive with contacts vs. glasses.

      Have your eyes changed since pregnancy? Do you see random things that aren't really there? Tell me your weird pregnancy stories!

More Like This Post:

What They Didn't Tell You About Pregnancy- Sleep
What They Didn't Tell You About Pregnancy- Love
What They Didn't Tell You About Pregnancy- Hair
What They Didn't Tell You About Pregnancy- Foot Size
How To Prepare for Pregnancy- Get a Cat

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Hello! My name is Brittany and I'm a writer, obviously. As a stay-at-home mom, there are many things that I have to figure out in order to run a house that appears to be more sane than insane. It's not easy to be a parent and I hope that this blog is able to encourage other moms out there to live life happily and to understand that there can be mishaps along the way, but those mishaps don't define you and anything can be overcome with perseverance and will.

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